Anger

I’ve recently started reworking an old story of mine that’s centered around one girl. Her character has had a couple huge shifts in purpose and design, but one thing has always been the same for her. I’ve always had her in a constant state of anger. Anger in female characters is something I feel like is super rare. I grew up watching female characters either deal with tragedies by going numb or getting sad. Both of which are totally reasonable responses! But I wanted to make a character who could fully express that anger. Actually, the story that surrounds her may include a male character who ends up sad and scared. I’m not sure why these traits are so prevalent in these characters, but they’re there and I’m not going to change things because I’m really attached to this girl character and further developing her story and exploring other traits.

I didn’t participate in Nanowrimo this year, and I haven’t really posted a whole lot all month because I’ve been finishing Christmas presents and working a lot, but I do plan on working out some story lines and character development over the next little while. I’m moving back to school around Christmas and it’ll be nice to get back to school, even if I’m a little bit nervous about jumping into full time credits again. Cool things though- I’m credit card debt free, I have enough money for rent, and I’ve recently regained access to school loans which is a blessing and a curse. I’ve spent all of this year’s school paying for things out of pocket and that’s been really rough, but I’m going to be using loans to pay for most of this semester’s tuition, and that will be a huge weight off my shoulders.

I’m also evaluating how I’ve thought about my mental health the last few years. I have some suspicions about what was going on, but I don’t want to talk too publicly about it until I think it’s a little clearer. I’ve been working through a lot of stuff and working through a lot of things. I wrote a long really emotional post a week or two ago, but decided that if I ever post it online, it probably won’t be on this blog. But I’m still not sure it’ll ever make it online due to the content its about.